happiness

I think a misconception I tend to have is the belief that other people have it better. And what I mean by this is I believe that others my age who have more friends, a high-paying job, who are wealthier, prettier, world-wide travellers are... happier. 

The truth is, we are all human. Because no matter who we are, what we do, or where we live, we all have our own sufferings. This took me a long time to learn. Each of us is born with luck and misfortune, not one or the other. Everyone has good qualities in their lives along with bad ones. Doesn't matter if you are a millionaire, a celebrity, a YouTuber, or the most popular person in school. Everyone suffers in their own way, sadly. 

This is such a hard concept for me to grasp because social media makes it SO EASY to believe that other people are MUCH happier than you- they are never lonely, they never suffer with mental health, their families are perfect, their lives are perfect. 

They look like they are having the time of their lives while I am here being miserable. 

I learned that anyone, literally anyone, can take aesthetic pictures, wear pretty clothes, and make their lives on social media look perfect. I know because I've done it. And it feels like I'm creating a facade of myself. 

What's really hard is truly accepting yourself for who you are. That's something that should be recognized for, not being recognized for taking the most aesthetic pictures. 

Our society has made it so easy to fall into this rabbit hole of fantasies, making you alter your lifestyle to chase this fake reality. Buy the hottest luxury car, get the most fashionable clothes, travel the world, make a ton of friends, use the fanciest makeup, and you will get the perfect life you've always wanted! Right?

Wrong. 

Because when does it ever end? Once you have one thing, you want another. 

And plus, all these things are just materialistic goods. They are only on the surface; they don't actually show who you are as a person. One natural disaster, one robbery, one fire, will steal all you have. 

And once that's all gone, what is left? 

Yourself. 

Sure, it's nice to buy a pretty new sweater at a store if it makes you happy. Sure, it's okay to splurge on a little vacation to relax. Sure, it's okay to treat yourself to a fancy new skincare product. It just becomes a problem when you rely on these items solely for happiness. 

Took me a long time to know that true happiness starts within. So cliche, I know. 

Having a million friends doesn't make you happier. They could move away, your friendship might deteriorate, or I don't know, something could happen to it. 

Relying on others to make you happy is not it. You're just asking someone to fill in the empty void you have when that was never their job in the first place. 

But that doesn't mean stay at home and isolate yourself. Try to go out, talk to strangers, put yourself out there. Just try not to expect anything in return because the more expectations you have, the more reliance it creates, and that is just going to backfire. 

Getting a ton of cute makeup or living in a luxurious apartment is not going to make you happier. They are just inanimate objects. The only constant thing in your life that you can ALWAYS count on is yourself. Or a god you believe in, or a deity from your religion. But you know what I mean. 

I think the key takeaway is that the more you rely on exterior things for pure happiness, the more easily it could go away any minute.

Since graduating from college last year, I realized how much I relied on my college friends and living in the college environment to make me happy. So it was extra hard to adjust to adult life when I moved back home. But also because I am such an extroverted and friendly person, it was a drastic change. 

I see my high school classmates on Instagram move to a big city like New York or San Francisco, and I immediately envy them, even though I never liked cities in the first place. 

So instead of chasing that fantasy that is never going to come true or splurging your money on materialistic goods, I think it's better to make the best out of what you have. 

Fighting against your circumstances or purchasing unnecessary goods isn't going to change your outcome. I guess the first thing to do is to be more content with yourself. Do things that you love. 

Invest time in hobbies, family, good friends instead of social media. 

That's all for now. Thank you for reading :) 

Karina <3